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Man Code
Explain to Women : No man shall attempt to explain the Man Code to a woman. Since women are complicated, they assume that men are complicated. Women have a difficult time comprehending that men are actually simple. This bias makes them unwilling to accept the rules that govern men. Explaining the Man Code to a woman is like arguing about politics: nobody changes anybody's mind and everybody leaves angry. In the event that one would try to explain this to women then you would implode and there for end your life as you know it. Exceptions : If no other option is humanly possible, then a man may break the man code. If in the pursuit of a woman, his actions will be given leeway. Ex Post Facto : There is no ban on ex post facto laws in the Man Code. A vote by a group of at least four men can deem an act not previously mentioned in the Man Code to be in violation of Man Code. Said violator must then accept proper punishment. Punishment If a Man acts in a manner not in accordance with the Man Code he will be punished in one (or all) of the following manners: *To "forget" the entire subject and never bring it up ever again *The "nut-check"-This is an extreme form of punishment and shall be reserved for only the most heinous offenders. When striking the guilty party's crotch it must be a swift closed hand maneuver and only the second knuckles may make "crotchular" contact.< NOTE EXTREME> *The "Frog"-May be supplemented for any level of crime; however, appropriate force must be used. *Verbal Ridicule-Appropriate for lighthearted embarrassing offenses. Can be quite fun. *"Castration"-The systematic removal of ones' testicles. Used in rare cases, see Dating, Cheating Repeated Offenders Just call them gay or shoot them. They are useless. The Greg Pelc Rule : If a man has violated more than 6 man code laws then this said offender shall be castrated and forever revoked for ever being called a man. Also, this said man's name shall be replaced with the most feminine name imaginable. The only way this can be reversed is for the offender to fight a Grizzly Bear with his bare hands. Once the grizzly Bear is dead this said man must garggle the bear's blood in his mouth. Then and only then is the offender's manhood reinstated. Mitch McCreadie Clause (Bitching Clause) : No man is allowed to complain or bitch about something more that once in a 24 hour period. If said man violates this clause he is now known as a the bitch untill another man accomodates said title. The Mitch Raymo Amendment : No man should ever brag about his sport more than once. Real men that know they are good at something and don't need to flaunt about his talents. Similar to gangsters, real gangstas don't flex much because real gangstas know they got 'em. Also, don't brag about all the women you talk to and don't get. The Aaron Clause : If said man has a "mood light" in his car, said man may use this for one reason and one reason only. The only use for this is a stratigic move by said man to get with a women. If said man uses this mood light on a man then there is something wrong. Telling Time : When a man asks a fellow Man Code follower what time it is the responding mans answer should be, "It's Fattie time." If the responder does not answer with this phrase or they do not chew tobbacco this said man is less of a man and shall be called a pussy one time after the incedent.